Lose the All or Nothing Mentality

What is the all or nothing mentality?  Its when there's only 2 options - perfection or failure.

I see this so often in clients who are new moms who are overwhelmed with trying to achieve health and fitness goals or with people who are just beginning their fitness journey.  They already feel exhausted and depleted of time and energy with their new baby and just don't know how to make anything else work (especially their goals of losing that baby weight).

They feel that the ONLY way to lose weight and get healthy is by going ALL IN... doing intense hour long workouts every day, eating a limited amount of calories and going on an extreme diet.  I'm here to tell you that is JUST NOT TRUE!

I think much of this mentality stems from the marketing tactics and confusion thrown at us by the fitness industry and it can also stem from our childhood.

There's so many mixed messages when it comes to losing weight that if you look all over the place its easy to get confused, overwhelmed and and feel like you could never measure up.  Maybe somehow all those people who are fit/healthy/lean are just WAY more disciplined or have way more time than you do?  WRONG WRONG WRONG.

OR ...if you've ever felt pressure from family members or were often looked at very critically as a child it can lead you to feel like you're a failure for not performing well as an adult now.  And because perfection simply doesn't exist and we don't want to fail we create ways around that - just never starting!

Often those with the all or nothing mentality are the ones that constantly put off getting started.  They say they'll get going after vacation or after the holidays or after family leaves town or when ALLLL the conditions of life are just easy breezy and perfect.

NEWS FLASH: There will never ever be a time in your life when conditions are perfect.  We all have reasons why it may not be the right time to change, however, the people that succeed are the ones who stop planning to be perfect and start by just taking small action.

The other problem that stems from the "all or nothing" mentality is the person who gets started and then slips in their plan or goals.  They see that slip as another failure and so they quit altogether.  They fail to realize the progress they've made and that even though they've not been perfect they've still managed to make HUGE strides.  However, that slip turns into a slippery slope and because you weren't perfect you consider it a failure and quit!

The truth is that we are all just afraid to fail but that doesn't give us the excuse to quit.  Every failure we have is simply a stepping stone to success!

Ladies, I'm here to tell you that there's a BETTER way! You can lose weight without the ALL OR NOTHING mentality and I'm living proof and so are my clients.

If you want to be the best version of YOU, you  have to stop focusing on the negative and focus on progress.

Focus on the small daily wins you do make.
Focus on the one workout you did get in this week or the one sweet that you passed on this week at work.
Focus on the fact that you got something accomplished in your personal life or that you were able to spend some extra quality time with your family despite missing a workout.
Focus on the fact that you did 10 minutes of a workout before you got interrupted by your baby.
Focus on the fact that you only had 1 diet coke this week instead of 7 or that you skipped grabbing Starbucks and opted for a healthy protein shake.
Focus on the fact that you are making healthier choices in  your daily life in general.

I help my clients focus on those small wins because they truly do add up into BIG results over the long term.  I know that with regular short effective workouts (even ones that are often interrupted or that don't happen as frequently as we planned), whole foods nutrition (even with some slips and cheats along the way) and having the right mentality and support ... YOU WILL REACH YOUR GOALS!

Its time to drop the all or nothing mentality.  Come to terms with the fact that you're not perfect, nor will you ever be.  None of us are. You're going to have bad days.  You're going to have meals you wish you didn't eat. You're going to have days where you skipped exercising and its no big deal.  You learn from it and do the best you can the next day.

Don't throw in the towel.  Give yourself grace.  The real success in our health comes when we realize the small progress we're making every day toward our goals.  Failure is only a stepping stone.

And if you simply keep going... guess what?

You may just reach your goal!

The only road to failure is quitting or never starting.

You are doing your best even when you feel like you screw up.  Tomorrow is a new day and a new opportunity to improve your life.  Drop the all or nothing mentality because life is never all or nothing.  Its a series of failures that lead us to SUCCESS and YOU are a success just by simply trying!  You got this mama!

Are you a new mom looking for some help on your fitness journey?  Be sure to download my free guide: 3 Secrets to Flat Abs After Baby here.

Click here for your FREE GUIDE - 3 Secrets for Flat Abs After Baby


  1. First of all, you look amazing! But yes, this message is so true! I found myself getting so much further when I lost the “all or nothing” mentality- especially when it came to fitness. It may seem like settling, but that’s the furthest from the truth. It’s just accepting that a happy medium is perfectly okay!

  2. I love making short-term goals! i always feel better when I accomplish them. Totally agree. You look amazing. I'm always inspired by your workouts on stories!


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